Music is the beat to my heart..

22 Tomorrow.

So I’m turning 22 soon. Things changed. I’m not quite the person I used to be. Everyone changes, but the person I am today is no longer a clay. I am more solid than I was before. For those who don’t exactly know about me, I am just a simple guy. I was bullied, became a bully, and now I’m none of those. Believe it or not, I was a jock. Yes I was a sports freak. Played most sports you could imagine and I once became the captain of the basketball team and the volleyball team. After high school I became a nerd. Then I went through things to discover my identity. To this moment, I have never done drugs, I don’t smoke, nor do I drink. Never had my first kiss and I have been single for 7 years now. I never exactly had a “real” girlfriend. Ever since I discovered love, I have been hurt by women. I don’t hold grudges. I simply stand back up and move on with my life because no one other than God can end my life. When I care about someone, I can be extremely generous. I always put others ahead of me. Sometimes I value them too much that I’d forget to value myself.

About 5 months ago, I decided to move to another city. Not many people know about it and they still think I’m in Chicago. I have decided to take a break from school for a semester or two in order to work full time and pay for my own school tuition. I usually work 6 days a week. At times I would work from 11am until 11pm or longer. I am financially independent. My father has never given me money since the day I was born and I don’t want to put anymore burden on my mother. I have not received any money from my mother for almost a year now. I have never thought this could be possible, but it is.

I love my mother to death. We might not have gotten along that well from a young age, but that was because she was always busy working to provide for her family. In the year 2000, she officially became a single parent. As the years passed by, my relationship with my mother grew stronger. I understood more on why she was absent in my life and I have learned to appreciate her more. She is the reason why I respect women despite of the fact that I have always been hurt by women. No women will ever be able to change my views on how women should be treated because my mother has taught and showed me well. It is not easy being my mother. She has five children. Her youngest child has autism and she takes good care of him.

I have gone through some deep and dark moments in my life, and once in a while I would have to endure it again. Although this time I am able to channel those deep feelings into writings. Yes, I write poetry to make me feel better and let my feelings out. Once in a while, I would rap and record songs. I do it for fun and no critic could ever stop me from doing it.

I don’t ask for much. I just want to be happy and see the important people in my life happy. I don’t need a mansion or a fancy car. I like the simple life. My ideal life is to fall in love with someone who appreciates me as much as I appreciate them. Someone who would never take me for granted and would always stick by me no matter what. I also would love to have kids. And last, but not least, I want to have a good and stable job. I don’t need to be extremely rich. I just want to make enough money to provide for my family.